The overflow: “Cup with calligraphic inscriptions”

On commemoration, appreciation, and how we give of ourselves

Shadow self with disappearing head: what it feels like when I ignore good advice

Dear friend,

A coach once gave me important advice, “Don’t give from your cup, only from the overflow.” I had started working with her because I was in a demanding job where I felt compelled to work ever harder and longer. I was growing resentful and inching closer to a complete burnout, yet I balked at the advice. It felt so miserly. Isn’t the overflow the same as what’s in the cup? How can I say no to someone who asks for my help?

“The cup holds nourishment, energy, time, resources—all it takes for you to thrive,” she explained. “If you give from that, you only deplete yourself and cannot truly be of service to others.” I realized she was right, and I could see how I was not only giving too much to that job, I was giving away precious emotional and physical energy in many areas of my life—to my relationship, to friends, to volunteer activities—without considering my own needs.